FSmith
You should thank God that your husband is still alive and quit thinking about yourself. You do not know how bad he really feels. I realize that sickness is hard on a spouse, it is doubly hard on the patient. I have ESRD and am extremely fortunate to have a husband who cares for me and about me, as I would do for him. It is a very debilitating sickness and he certainly did not ask to be in that condition. I am only 42 and he is 44. State of mind also plays an important role in his condition, and I hope he does not feel your resentment. I can assure you, no one feels worse about this than he does.